(4.5min read) To kill or not to kill? Seems to be a pretty straightforward, uncomplicated, no wobble, razor sharp, cut and dry kind of question. Doesn’t it? People will be on one side or the other, no in between.

The only choice one has is to be on ‘this’ side of it or ‘that’ side of it.

I promise you, we’ll get back to the ‘ToKillOrNotToKill’. It was June 2018 when my wife and I reached a point of no return. Each considered the other to be completely utterly and outright unbearable, intolerable, and insufferable. It is the truth. The end of this relationship was literally and plainly in sight.

The question we each had to answer to oneself, and please stick with me here. The question we each had to answer to ONESELF is; “Do I believe there is HOPE to salvage this relationship!?”

The question was not; “How do WE salvage this relationship!?”     RATHER;

“Do I believe there is HOPE to salvage this relationship!?” each to oneself.

Do YOU believe there is HOPE to salvage YOUR relationship with the ‘OTHER’ side!?

Do not jump into the HOW if you are still so infuriated with the “’They’ are so evil and there is NO HOPE for ‘THEM’”. I hope you think there is HOPE to salvage.

My wife and I stumbled upon a counseling method that focused on

How can I look at what he/she does                        from her/his perspective

Not to agree, but to understand

WHY?

If she/he finds his/her love and compassion for ‘this’, she/he would understand

The KEY is not accusing ‘him/her’ with

“Aha …..You are NOT following the method”

Rather, a concerted effort by ONESELF to adhere as much as possible to the method.

Pretty simple yet excruciatingly difficult!!!

Do YOU have hope to reconcile with the ‘OTHER’ side??

Here’s an example about the opposing positions on the ‘To Kill or Not to Kill’;

Sally comes asking you for advice. She wants to join the army as she believes it is her duty to protect and serve her country. Sally believes that killing another human being is wrong and unacceptable! The army’s code of conduct is that it is OK to kill another human being in battle. Sally says, “What do I do?”

What do you tell Sally!?

I’ve been presented with a question and there is a ‘me’ need to tell Sally what I believe.

That’s what we do today………… I GOTTA tell them what I believe………….

I believe ‘this’ you believe ‘that’ and then we are in arms against each other!! Me and Sally are either on the same side, or end up fighting as we’ll stand for what we believe in.

Known as DIVISION.

How to bring UNION through this scenario?

Sally dear, your compassion and love for your country is moving you to join the army. Your kindness and gentleness for mankind is moving you to be against killing another human being. It is also the compassion and love of the army for its own country that allows killing in battle. So you have to decide where and how to apply your love and compassion. But please know that both sides are indeed loving and compassionate!

This is HOW you look at the ‘OTHER’ side to understand where THEY are coming from. Not to agree, as you will end up believing that one side is right and the other side wrong.

But you will disagree while understanding the ‘OTHER’.  Known as UNION.

It is OK to disagree but without instilling DISGUST or REPULSION against another. Resist the drive of “They have NO love or compassion”.

So when someone asks you about Capital Punishment, you can see that one side has more compassion towards not taking a life while the other has more compassion towards the life that has been taken. You can still stand for or against Capital Punishment, that won’t change, but no reason to be disgusted repulsed and appalled at the ‘other’ side.

And when someone asks you about abortion, I do not have to tell you what or how, but you stand strongly for or against Abortion, but find the way NOT to be disgusted repulsed and appalled at the ‘other’ side, cause their is compassion there as well.

It is when we see the love and compassion of people, because we all have love and compassion, and not focus totally completely and utterly on how one is applying them, then and only then we can move away from focusing totally completely and utterly on what DIVIDES US and we can show love and compassion to the ‘OTHER’ side amidst the disagreements. They key; both sides have to apply this.

My God and my Lord, oh how You seek for us to Love One Another as in ALL human beings and ALL humanity. Disgusted Repulsed Appalled at one another is a far cry from LOVE. Teach me O’ Lord, better yet, may I be open to Your teaching O’ Lord to find the ways to not be Disgusted Repulsed Appalled at any ‘other’ human being. Thank You my Creator and Maker for never being Disgusted Repulsed or Appalled at me for what I may do or even think. Thank You. Amen.