(a 5 minute read) Is this is a self-admission? Yes. Then it is a self-incrimination!……. Yes. As bad as this may sound, I believe it has to start with me, the man in the mirror. My hope is to encourage other men to come forth, for everything else is just placing a Band-Aid on a three inch deep wound in your gut spewing filthy stuff.

Don’t get me wrong, if it isn’t for the courage of the women coming forth with their stories of men groping them, I’d remain a closet groper. The; Whom? How often? Are you still doing it? are all distractions. There is only one question; Have you? Do you?

What man out there, including myself, has not taken a second glance at a woman!? Hold on, ‘has taken a glance’ makes it sound like I do not do it anymore…….. bull crap, right?

So yes, I grope with my eyes. Ewwww….. is your reaction of course.

My sincere apologies for disappointing you; but are you truly surprised? Do you actually believe that there is a man out there; your husband, your brother, your pastor, your son, your father that does not or has not done that? Come on now…………..  This is not in any way, shape or form makes it OK, it just needs to be on the record.

So why the self-confession and incrimination? Because it is the only way I know how to come along side my valiant sisters, if you’d allow me to call you that, fighting an incredulous army we call ‘society’. This world we live in, of deny, deny, deny or at best admit but justify or sugarcoat, needs to stop. This is my attempt as a perpetrator to pull out from perpetrating. Like a drug addict that feels that one of the ways to stay clean is to actually tend to those afflicted.

People; you and I know that this objectification is a learnt behavior. Moms and dads, educators and preachers, friends, peers and culture, they all fuel it. Yes, they fuel it, either by adding wood to the fire or by allowing the fire to burn without dousing it with water. Those adding wood to the fire, in my humble opinion, are the minority, but those looking the other way are mostly you and me. It is you and me that can and should make a difference.

Have you ever tried to cut a tough piece of meat with just a fork? Well, that’s what’s happening today. These brave women coming forth with their stories are using a fork to attack this problem. They’re courageous, they’re strong, they’re daring and bold. Men, you and me, possess a knife that we can hand over to our sisters to make their task just a bit easier.

That knife is  #Igrope   as Self Admission has to come first. Without self-admission, change is allusive. It’ll take 100 years probably for this change to actually become reality, but we gotta start somewhere. Here are some steps to carry out, steps that you already know;

1.    #Igrope      self-admission.
2. Every time I want to take the second glance, a little voice in my head should be on automatic, “want someone to look at your daughter/sister as such!?”
   That better be a good deterrent.
3. When one man snickers and tells the other, “look at that……..” the other man, me, should not feel pressured to partake, rather should say something like, “come on man, that’s not cool. Show some respect, this is your sister/daughter.” These are words said kindly and not with judgement. Kind will possibly create a thought, a thought may lead to examination, and examination could cause a change in action. Judgement creates resentment and zero chance of changed behavior.
4. Moms and dads, Educators and preachers be diligent against objectification.
5. Peers and culture, ooohh peers and culture………… hope change although slow, is surely to happen.
6. I hear women can objectify men as well. I do not have experience here, so all I can say is let’s be aware of it.

As I said, these are steps that you, yes you, already know so well. So what’s left? What are we waiting for?

Let’s begin…… Let’s apply….. Come on………. You Got This 🙂  Let’s just start with the first step……….

Commit to the first step and do not do it as an emotional response. Consider, think, decide and act accordingly.

My Lord, my Creator and my Maker; I want to thank you for my sisters that have come forth with their stories. May they know that You are standing firm with them. May the hurt subside and their stories create the nucleus of change to multiply and multiply. I also want to take this moment to give my sincere apologies to women that I groped with my eyes. I am sorry. I stand here as a man able, willing and determined to apply the steps listed above in my everyday life. I love and I thank You my Lord 🙂  Amen.