(4 minute read) Many of you may know that my parents separated then divorced when I was maybe 11 years old and my brother 7 years old. Divorce is never easy on the parents and definitely not easy on the children.

I just did a bit of a lip frown in sympathy for that time in my life, and maybe you did the same. Thank you for your sympathy. The thing, for me, to recall here from these years is how people that you’ve always seen together, hanging out and enjoying life, sharing feasts and festivals, visiting at time of sickness and going way out of their ways to serve each other, all of a sudden and I mean on a flip of a coin, start bashing each other. Furthermore, your parents who’ve always cooperated to get ‘your’ interests taken care of, suddenly you feel caught in the middle about ‘going to practice’ or ‘having lunch on the weekend’. You know what I mean, right?

The culture I grew in was all about family. My wife always says if you’ve seen the movie “My Big fat Greek Wedding”, then you know that this large family thing is indeed a for real thing. I have to give credit to my mom and dad. Although of course there were moments of bashing, they were minimal and pretty civil. The larger circle though, was not so kind. Again, I must admit that although there was never any cussing or flat out slander, there was plenty of, how do I describe it? …………. Well, the best I can put in words is the “trying to gain you to one camp by putting the other camp down.” There is no ‘glorifying’ one parent that would gain a child to that parent, so the only available venue is to ‘degrade’ the other camp, so that the kid would come closer to your camp of the family. It is typically relentless, hurtful & cruel. But there are no other options, and therefore it continues.

So what is a kid to do?? The pressure continues to mount, and it becomes so obvious that you, a kid, are actually expected to choose one over the other………………….. What a predicament……………  Pretty sad, isn’t it!? You know what happens? The kids have to become adult about it. Not a cool thing for a kid.

I use this to point to our present predicament here in the USA. We, the people, are the kids. Our parents are the two major parties. The parents obviously have divorced and there is no more any sort of cooperation or working together. The people, the family, are bashing literally bashing each other, so as to gain me and you to either one camp or the other. For there is no middle, it is two against each other and you are expected to choose one over the other.

What kid you know through a divorce does not continue to attempt to bring the parents back together again? What kid does not? In spite of the odds, the kid, now acting as the adult, continues to try. Why? For the kid STILL LOVES both parents equally and through any continual cruel bashing. And that’s how it always should be, right?

Your role could be; they’re never coming back together again. No sense in trying, as it hurts. Therefore, I’ve picked a parent and basically lost the other parent………

I hope you’re the kid that will try anything and everything regardless of the odds. One that continues to work for getting them back together, for even if they stay divorced, there comes a time that the parents will work for the best interest of the kids. It happens in almost every divorce, but it just takes time. Work towards that end, and do ALL that is in your power to not only NOT-participate in the bashing but actually say; “Hey, that’s my mom/dad you’re talking about, so quit it.”  Kids have and continue to utter these words, and it is time that as adults we do the same.  #unitenotpolarize